Bloody Birds

[lockwood1956]

I arrived home from winefest in St Louis to find the birds had eaten most of my grapes!

I didnt net them because they were nowhere near ripe yet, I have since learned that if one grape is ripe, then the birds will start and thern continue with unripe grapes.

what a pain, however they are all netted up now, and hopefully I will still be able to make a little wine, to see what sort of product I will have......next year

plargh

[Mamgiowl]

Buggers!

[StockeyDAW]

I have three bird species; robins, blue jays and grackles that attack my fruits. Netting has saved me a number of times. Just to get them before they start feeding - then after harvest leave a cluster or two on for their delight. They do not bother the raspberries and fortunately the mulberries have also been OK. Sorry Bob, I guess you will have to get an extra 300 lbs when you order your case lots. Cheers DAW we all have to eat?

[fasteddy999]

I have never had a problem with birds until this year. Checked my Nortons on Thursday they were right at 18 brix. Went back on Saturday to pick. NOTHING CLEANED OUT!!!! I'm ordering netting for nxt year. I'm not going to leave them anything.

[Hippie]

Oh man that sucks!

They don't bother my blackberries much.

[jake47]

Thats a real downer Bob.em next year .

[lockwood1956]

There "might" be enough grapes left for about 1/2 gallon

so at least I'll get a taste of the wine to come next year as you say

[medpretzel]

A nice taste now may give you new hope for next year.

One taste can go a long way, in my opinion.

[lockwood1956]

Especially as i've allready had a little taste and expect great things next year, just a shame there wont be as much as I was wanting

[medpretzel]

I can understand your disappointment, lockwood, but.... sometimes the thrill of having only a little bit of it can bring so much more joy when the full amount is finally reached.

I know it's not much to go on, but at least it's a consolation. Even though a small one.

[Richard S]

Danina, Bob is a Geordie and therefore as tight as a gnat's a**.

So, the birds took a grape or two, how dare they! I have a feeling that all out war is about to be declared by Bob on the avian species. Can you imagine cammo netting over the vines, Dobermans on patrol, machine gun towers, surface to air missiles and a whole host of other nasty’s awaiting the grape thieves?

About 20 years into the future from now……………

The sun shines brightly over Lockwood manor. So much Carbon Dioxide has been produced by Bob’s fully automated winery that West Yorkshire now enjoys its own Mediterranean style micro climate where a steady 28c is the norm.

Around his garden, the bananas are ripe, a few coco nuts litter the lawns and the rest of the tropical fruits are doing well and the vines are weighed down with masses of fat grapes.

Inside the winery, the automated processes hum along and the labelling machine adds labels to the bottles of wine that claim that the contents are award winning. Bob now gives himself awards as entering competitions are a waste of time as the outcome is so certain. The automated process also allows him more time to spend on the Wines at Home forum posting even more guff than even he thought possible.

So what could be so wrong with this idealistic scene? Birds have all but become extinct! The few that escaped Bob’s traps flew south to the barren, arctic like wastelands of Doncaster where food is more plentiful.

Inside his house Bob frowns at his dinner plate. The vegetables are fantastic but the Quorn like substance that looks like chicken, smells a bit like chicken and tastes a lot like dog cr@p isn’t. Bob ponders for a moment wondering what happened to all the birds, picks up his wine glass and exclaims “At least we have plenty of wine”.

The End

Let the birds have a grape, ya tight wad

[NorthernWiner]

LMAO! Oh Lordie - now that's funny stuff!!

[Duffbeer]

Hehee nice one Richard, has one been early tippling

[Richard S]

Hehee nice one Richard, has one been early tippling

The thought came to me last night but at the time I was less than capable of typing!

[Mamgiowl]

That is just brilliant Richard. You deserve a Gold Star for that.